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The Summer In Between: Saying Goodbye
During the summer between senior year of high school and the beginning of your elite education at a university like Harvard, Princeton, or Stanford, you should give serious thought to the status of your friendships and romantic relationships. Who will you make an effort to stay close with? Who will you let drift away?
In later years, some of your best friends may be people you knew back in high school. However, many of the people you know now may also end up drifting away. It is OK to let that happen. It is also OK to transition casual friendships into a "check-in-once-a-year" status. That way, you don't lose touch with your network of friends, but you give yourself enough space to grow and develop on your own at your elite university.
We strongly suggest having a one-on-one conversation with close friends to decide, at least temporarily, how much you want to make an effort to keep in touch. Be honest. Be firm. And be open to changing the plan after you have experienced at term or two of university life. You want leave yourself as free as possible to meet new people and have new experiences at your elite university. Just as we suggest that you sit down with your friends, we suggest that you sit down with any romantic relations and honestly and clearly talk about the future.
Polls show that the majority of long-distance "high school hold-over" relationships do not survive even one year of university. In fact, most relationships do not survive even the first term! We know. You and your boyfriend or girlfriend are different. However, the facts speak for themselves. Going to an elite university is a formative experience will change you from the inside. In fact, you will change so much in the first three months of university, your friends and family will immediately notice a difference.
If your boyfriend or girlfriend is going to a different university or entering the workforce, you will begin to have substantially different experiences. In addition, you may have to deal with the very real difficulty of having a long-distance relationship. When two people do not share the same formative experience, they can begin to drift a part. If you've got a boyfriend or girlfriend, you may want to have a conversation with him or her about the viability of a long term commitment.